GIRLS WITH BALLS (2018)

The team is held hostage, but looks bored. I feel ya, ladies.

Oh man, if only this flick was as entertaining as its poster and promo images lead you to believe its going to be. 

GIRLS WITH BALLS is a French/Belgian sports-themed horror-comedy, directed by Olivier Afonso, that simply manages to lose track of what sort of film it wishes to be, and flounders its way to an unsatisfactory ending. To be honest, I should have known from the start that the tone-deaf vagabond-cowboy-bard narrator with a penchant for spoilers was a bad sign.

Unfunny singing-narrator aside, the first act does its job well, and establishes the characters in rip-roaring fashion, via a Volleyball cup-match, and subsequent character-interaction inside the team's RV once the game is won. Schlocky, silly, and sophomoric, it manages to be a lot of goofy fun for the first 15 minutes. When the team gets lost and detoured towards a backwoods hostel populated by inbred, cannibal-hicks, the bad-guys are established, and the film manages another suitably promising 10 minutes.

However, at 25 minutes is, the cracks start to show, the film starts to fall apart.

The worst thing about this flick, IMHO, is that it doesn't really play fair with its own characters. That fun first act establishes the team as clever, energetic, and formidable, only for them to panic, split, and squabble in act two. In the process, the momentum is completely lost, and the movie ends up swinging into very dark, serious territory, only to attempt to recover and amuse with more sophomoric antics. In the process, it manages to become wildly inconsistent in tone, and eventually, the film loses my interest completely.

Its frustrating because all the parts for a good black-comedy are here: the cast is capable, and there are some effective practical-effects (and some unfortunate CGI gore later on), but when you combine the inconsistent tone with a sub-genre of horror we've all seen a hundred times before, it just makes for an irritating experience.

In the end, its not bleak enough to measure up to the better cannibal-hick films out there, and not clever or funny enough for a supposed black-comedy, and I just can't recommend it. If you want a good sports-themed horror-comedy, sit down and watch GOAL OF THE DEAD. You'll have a much better time.

The verdict? 1.5 stars (* 1/2). Skip it.